T H E Y A N A I S M

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
Cause I saw the end before we'd begun
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won
So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there
I am here for you if you'd only care

You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you

I am a dreamer but when I wake
You can't break my spirit, it's my dreams you take
And as you move on, remember me
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the mother of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine
And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you

And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bear my soul in time
When I'm kneeling at your feet

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

Best describes it.
FUCK.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/23/2006 11:05:00 PM

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Friday, December 22, 2006

2:55am

I am getting myself into a whole lot of trouble. I hate to accept the fact that things change and I have changed as well. I am contradicting myself; even worst than my accused. I'm sorry Josh. It's hard for me to say but I wanna move on.

Ya Allah, please shine light on the right path for me. All these misunderstandings, change of heart and that newfound friendship; are those signs? I need the strength to say No, the ability to think of what's right and wrong, and make my choices. Tawwakal.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/22/2006 02:55:00 AM

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Thursday, December 21, 2006

I don't know what to feel at this point. I'm happy to see him, esctatic actually. But the disappointment is overpowering. Is it fair to say that he came back as a different person and I no longer like what I see? Or is it fair for me to overlook all those differences and just live life as per normal, pretending everything hasn't changed a wee bit?

Sigh.

Well physicals aside, he is still the guy I fell for back then, or is he? But he broke our promise and that changed everything. Was it because of my "fear" and rejection that he's turned into this person? I dunno. But I know that it's not right.

Baby I know it's ridiculous but you ask yourself what happened. If we wanna go any further than this, I'd have to say no. I can't change you anymore.

Endnote;
You make the choice Josh.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/21/2006 11:22:00 AM

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

So it's confirmed. Arrival time in Singapore would be 0549hrs, 21 minutes under scheduled timing.

I'm excited, and I don't know why. hahahaha. Do I miss him? Hell yeah. Do I still love him? I dunno. Does he still love me? That I have to question.

Perhaps it's the distance and absence which makes our hearts grow fonder. Or perhaps it's just all that doodah and anticipation of welcoming a friend home.

But it is gonna end with a farewell once again, very soon.

Fuck farewells for now, I'm gonna spend this 2 weeks with him and make something fruitful out of it. Fort Road, ECP or just the mere garden rendezvous, I AM gonna give him the best experience ever before he leaves.

Welcome home Joshua Zulfiqar Lee.
=)

Endnote;
I'm all smiles.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/17/2006 04:56:00 PM

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Saturday, December 16, 2006

SEDUCTION STYLE EH?

*raaawwwrrrr*
But quite true la.

Another camwhore day.
weeeee...

Anyone got $200 to spare?
Please get me this red dress.
Pwwweeeaaassseee....

Endnote;
*Just like a star*

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/16/2006 01:20:00 AM

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

Ok I know I'm like technically lagging but I just caught Step Up awhile back and it's an awesome movie. Somewhat similar to Save The Last Dance; well very similar but both scored in my book. A few reasons to why I like these kinda shows;

1. There's dancing, lots of them.
2. Stories about ghetto life; drugs, guns and drivebys.
3. Cliche ending; lead actor/actresses gets to fulfil their dream.

Very typical chick flick isn't it, except that I'm no typical chick but I loved it nonetheless. Now who's gonna dance his way to my heart and sweep me off my feet? That is IF he is strong enough to lift me la. hahahaha.

So here's a piece of bad news. One of my uncles passed away this morning after a few week's battle with complications. Not very sure what went wrong but it's something to do with a growth in one of his major organs bursting, and in which during operation he got a mild heart attack. Been in the ICU on comatose for about 2 weeks or more, got better for awhile and diving back into a coma early this week. I guess his body can't take it anymore and he demised this morning.

Innalillahiwainnailaihirajiuun...

I remembered just about a year ago *someone* got into a coma and I freaked out like hell. Who wouldn't? His EMT was so low we all thought he wouldn't make it but alhamdulillah he's more than alright now. SQ37, 18/12. :)

Liyana Nurhuda misses you.
hahahaha.

I need money to buy clothes! Gimme gimme gimme! Arrrgghhh I'm going delirious!

Ok this diver guy from China looks like a errmmm... down syndrome kid. Ok that's bad. I apologise.

I've got this habit of switching off my mobile very early lately. No reasons why, just felt like it. So unless there's anything super important, wait til morning. Or if it's a life and death situation, then you may call my home. You'll know you're super imporatant to me if you've got my home number. Chey chey chey kerek.

McDonalds' Apple Pie kicks major asses. Eve must have been craving for it then.

Endnote;
Straits Kitchen here I come!... Hello gastoronomic adventure, goodbye to financial liability. blah.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/14/2006 10:54:00 PM

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Its been awhile. I'm still waiting for my dulce de leche *hints*. But anyhoos, nothing much has been up except for the usual shopping/window shopping, sleeping, eating, net surfing routine. I've had my fried fish soup from Tong Seng for two consecutive days now, still craving for more. Erk. Borrowed 11 books from the National Library yesterday in hopes to read them in 3 weeks, yea right. Watching the Men Diving thingy on TV now and I'm totally in like with Malaysia's Khairul Safwan Mansur. He's so cute la. hahaha.

So here's a recap on my Malaccan weekend. Driving on the highway was a breeze, except the few occasions when a group of bikers overtook me like vrrooommm, and the police roadblock, in which I was safe from but my other cousins' weren't. hehehe.

Ok I can't be bothered to type any longer. Here are some pics of me, my cousin and nieces, camwhoring as usual.

THE LAKE

[ The lake opposite our resort ]

[ My cousin, Hairi ]

[ So-called outdoor activity but the centre is always closed! ]

[ Another view of the lake, overlooking the golf course ]

SCORPION PLEATS

[ My scorpion pleat ]

[ The front, with my hairstylist in the background ]

CAMWHORE MOMENTS
at 1 in the morning, when insomnia kicks in.
[ Nazirah . moi . Haikal . Danial . Lisa ]

[ Girls just wanna have fun ]

[ Pseudo-bunnies ]

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS...

Seriously, I can be a Dorothy Perkins and Marks & Spencers' ambassador la. Anyone kind enough to get me any of those outfits? All 3 outfits will not be rejected though. hahahaha.

Endnote;
5 more days y'all!

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/13/2006 11:03:00 AM

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Saturday, December 09, 2006

Check this link out.

Muhd Harun Nur Rashid!!!!
WHEN LAAAAAA???

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/09/2006 12:56:00 AM

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

Was browsing through youtube for some random shitnicks and it brought me to surf onto CAN's Strongest Dad video. That video is really an inspiration. Mary introduced this video to us in Programming class and I can never thank her enough for that. I've posted this before but here's the link again if you missed it.

Part 1
Part 2

I love my dad. Although at times we don't see eye to eye about some issues, he's still my dad and all the sacrifices he's made, together with my mum to grant me this life I'm in, I'm more than greatful for that. I question myself to whether I would be able to repay all their kindness before they leave this world. Thus far, I can't give them any financial security, I haven't granted them at least a diploma as yet (but I will get there in 6 months, insyaAllah), but I've been trying to be a good daughter. Knowing the relationship between both my parents and my brother has somewhat deteriorated, it is time I butt into the picture and at least lighten the pain and disappointment in them. I'd like to do anything to make them happy, the least make them smile even if my jokes are corny. I'm getting there.

[ pretend you don't see that other person ok ]

Such happy faces. But where are the smiles now?

On to something more lighthearted. It's Starbucks Day today, meaning free coffee (anything!) from 5pm to 7pm at any Starbucks outlet! Was supposed to go with bestie but both of us got lazy. Futhermore I still have my contract and agreement to draft out. Sigh.

I can't wait to get out of Singapore this weekend, again. hahaha. I need an alternative breath of air, even if it's mere Sentosa. Nothing against Singapore; just need to get all the stress out of my systems before I start school in a month's time and be a conformist to the educational and working standards.

Endnote;
Some things are better left unsaid but sometimes misconceptions really hurt.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/07/2006 03:25:00 PM

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

It totally didn't occur to me that my mom was driving to Shah Alam, therefore my intention to drive up to Changi Village was a bummer. Nonetheless I had a blast over the weekend with my cousins, nieces, bestie and all those who made it a blast la. hahaha.

Babies Proms Day 2 kicked ass man! I loved the concert, playing with kids, jumping up and down, making elephant sounds and all those things kids do which looks super silly. Call me up for the next Babies Proms ok! =)

[ my colleagues of SSO @ VCH by the end of the event ]

Saturday night was dinner date(s) out with my cousins and bestie. Seoul Garden @ Marina Square it is. Weekend dinner is super EX okay! But all's good in the name of ermmm... hunger? hahaha.

Yea we are the gluts! (read:gluttons) And I'm chief glut! hahaha. But actually nolah. I think my threshold for food has simmered down alot. Either my stomach's getting smaller, or is it just my narrowing windpipe which is making my appitite just disappear. Ok nevermind, that aside.

After dinner we crossed over to the Esplanade only to see a hell load of skins, punks and other "cultured people". A ska gig at the Waterfront, hence the crowd. We chilled abit(and camwhored as well) but got very irritated somehow with the rowdy crowd so we left. Well it was all a norm for me la but with my bestie and my so-very-innocent cousins(rriiittteee...), out of there it is! Bestie and her sis left while me and cuzzies decided to walk around and suck up the awesomeness of the night. Walked down Boat Quay and then Clarke Quay, took the last bus home and lepak somemore under the block just behind my house til 3:30am.

[ Amni, me and my cuzzies ]

[ Bestie, her sis and moi ]

[ The cuzzies ]

It was a pity that I got toally lazy and on the other hand my cuzzies got very jakun-ed by the nightlife at Boat Quay and Clarke Quay, hence the lack of pictures.
Sunday afternoon my other nieces and nephew came over supposedly to watch DORM but the VCD I bought seemed to play a different story altogether. There wasn't even any dorm scene in it. Well, that's what you get when you buy pirated VCDs la. My bad. Cousin left in the evening, after which off I went to Eunos for a meeting with my SGDM committee.
Events, especially metal events, are hard. Very hard. Sponsorhips is the main thing, especially when you have zero budget to start off. And being "metal", the tainted image is very difficult to rub off. Nonetheless I am very proud with my comittee members. They have faith and passion and so shall I. This gig is gonna be a success! Pray for me ok =)
Past few nights have been somewhat hard for me. Nothing serious, just that our meetings ran late which resulted in me walking back home alone at 2 in the morning, and smoking lots and lots of fags. How the hell am I gonna get well man. Still coughing, although it has improved alot as compared to 3 days back. But my continued smoking frenzy isn't gonna make it any better. I'm trying...
Finally I got my hands on the movie Heart, which everybody is talking about. Irwansyah is so cute la. Reminds me abit of Ariel from Peterpan but Irwansyah is way cuter, and younger la of course. Let's not talk about my rection to that show. I was left in bitter tears. Things a best friend would do for the sake of their friend's happiness. *boohoohoo*
Joshua Zulfiqar, jiayou! 4 papers and fly fly fly back to SG you will be! *yoda style* hehehe.
Endnote;
Bila kita mencintai yang lain, mungkinkah hati ini akan tegar?

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/05/2006 10:58:00 PM

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Friday, December 01, 2006

Happy December peeps!!

How time flies, it's already December and a month to go before we step into 2007. I've got about a month plus of holidays and thus far I haven't found anything substantial to do. Damned I feel sooo lazy but my resources are running super low! bleurgh.

SSO Babies Proms Day 1 was alright, it's a breeze actually. I get paid to park prams(think valet) and baby watch. So fun! And I found my eyecandy, this little chinese boy with dimples who wore blue long-sleeved POLO shirt. Branded okay! And he's super super cute la. *swoons* heh. Nono, I'm no paedophile, I think. =)

I can't wait for tomorrow's day out with my cuzzies. Seoul Garden, window shopping, and perhaps a drive to Changi Village at night. If that's too much of a hassle, we'll just hang out at Raimah with spring chicken. hehehe.

Ok go.

Endnote;
18/12/06, return of the JZuL. yey.

yanaSicked says ok go.
12/01/2006 11:03:00 PM

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